Of course. Here is an article on how to support a friend who is struggling with their mental health.
More Than “I’m Here For You”: A Practical Guide to Supporting a Friend’s Mental Health
We’ve all seen it. A friend who was once the life of the party is suddenly quiet. The one who always initiated plans is now cancelling them. They seem distant, irritable, or just… not themselves. When you ask if they’re okay, you get a vague, “I’m just tired.”
Witnessing a friend struggle with their mental health can leave you feeling helpless. You want to help, but you’re afraid of saying the wrong thing, overstepping, or making things worse. The good news is that you don’t need to be a therapist to be a good friend. Meaningful support is often about small, consistent acts of compassion.
Here’s a practical guide to genuinely supporting a friend who’s going through a difficult time.
1. Start by Listening—Truly Listening
Before you offer solutions, offer your ears. Often, the most powerful thing you can do is create a safe, non-judgmental space for your friend to share what they’re feeling, if and when they’re ready.
- Ask open-ended questions: Instead of “Are you sad?” try “How have you been feeling lately?” or “I’ve noticed you seem a bit down. What’s been on your mind?”
- Validate their feelings: Acknowledge their pain. Simple phrases like, “That sounds incredibly difficult,” or “I’m so sorry you’re going through that,” can make a world of difference. It shows them they’re not overreacting and that their feelings are legitimate.
- Resist the urge to “fix” it: Your job isn’t to solve their problems. Avoid jumping in with advice or sharing stories about how you overcame something similar. Right now, it’s about them, not you. Just listen.
2. Go Beyond “Let Me Know If You Need Anything”
When someone is struggling with depression or anxiety, the executive function required to identify a need, formulate a request, and reach out can be overwhelming. The vague offer of “Let me know if you need anything” places the burden back on them.
Instead, offer specific, practical help that requires a simple “yes” or “no” answer.
- For daily tasks: “I’m going to the grocery store, can I pick anything up for you?” or “I’m making a big batch of soup, can I drop a container off for you tomorrow?”
- For company: “I’m free on Wednesday evening. Do you want to watch a movie on the couch? No pressure to talk.”
- For difficult chores: “I know laundry can pile up. Want me to come over and help you tackle it?” or “Do you need help making that phone call you’ve been dreading?”
These small, concrete offers show you care and remove the mental load of asking for help.
3. Gently Encourage Professional Help
You are their friend, not their therapist, and that’s a crucial boundary. Encouraging professional help is one of the most supportive things you can do. Frame it as a sign of strength, not weakness.
- Normalize it: “I know a lot of people who have found therapy really helpful for sorting through tough times. It’s like having a coach for your mind.”
- Offer assistance: “Have you ever thought about talking to someone? If you’d like, I can help you look up some local therapists or resources.”
- Don’t pressure them: Plant the seed, but respect their decision. Pushing too hard can make them withdraw. The goal is to empower them, not to control them.
4. Be Consistent, Even When It’s Quiet
Mental health struggles aren’t linear. There will be good days and bad days. Your friend might retreat, ignore texts, or cancel plans at the last minute. It’s easy to take this personally, but try not to. It’s often a symptom of their struggle, not a reflection of your friendship.
- Keep showing up: A simple, low-pressure text like, “Thinking of you today,” or “No need to reply, just wanted to say hi,” can be a lifeline. It reminds them that someone out there cares, even when they don’t have the energy to engage.
- Celebrate small wins: If they managed to get out of bed or take a shower, that’s a victory. Acknowledge their effort without being patronizing: “I’m really glad we got to talk today.”
5. Educate Yourself
You don’t need to become an expert, but learning a little about what your friend might be experiencing (like anxiety, depression, or burnout) can help you understand their behavior. Reliable sources like the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) or Mind (in the UK) offer clear, accessible information. Understanding that their irritability or withdrawal is a symptom can foster empathy and patience.
6. Remember to Take Care of Yourself, Too
Supporting someone through a mental health crisis can be emotionally taxing. It’s vital to maintain your own well-being.
- Set boundaries: It’s okay if you can’t be available 24/7. It’s okay to say, “I’m not equipped to handle this conversation right now, but I’m still here for you. Can we talk tomorrow?”
- Don’t carry it all: You cannot pour from an empty cup. Make sure you have your own support system, whether it’s other friends, family, or a therapist of your own.
- Know your limits: You are not a crisis counselor. If you believe your friend is in immediate danger of harming themselves, your role is to connect them with professional help immediately.
Your presence, your patience, and your compassion are powerful gifts. You may not have all the right words, but by showing up consistently and offering practical kindness, you are making it clear that your friend is not alone. And sometimes, that is the most important message of all.
In Case of Crisis:
If you believe your friend is in immediate danger, do not leave them alone.
- Call or text 988 in the US and Canada to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
- In the UK, you can call 111.
- The Crisis Text Line can be reached by texting HOME to 741741 (US/Canada) or 85258 (UK).
- Help your friend get to the nearest emergency room.
